Namaste and Blessed Be Family!
I approach you all today heart forward. I know we all are experiencing some very turbulent times indeed, all in our own ways I'm sure. I am in a realization space that I have not been in rhythm or practice with my much needed grounding tools, and boy have I been feeling it.
It's always easy to use our medicinal tools when things are good, and happy, and feel just perfect. It can be so easy to "forget" or "lose track" of those very important medicinal practices within those situations that feel perfect to us. In my personal experience, by allowing my personal rituals fall by the wayside, sure I can stay with a good heightened frequency for a while, but inevitably I come crashing down without my support beams. I can even be left in a place of mentally wondering "wow-things have been SO good lately, why am I now back into old behaviors that do not serve me, experiencing negative old thought patterns, feeling so "out of control" when I have been so "in control" lately?"
I am someone who needs to face my truths without hiding, in order to be able to change them. This is just me personally. So I greatly appreciate your loving time in witnessing my truths that are difficult for me to share openly, but am grateful in the strength of following through.... For the past several months that I have not written, I have been experiencing intense negative, hateful thoughts towards myself, some days convincing myself that my partner, family, and friends would be much better off without me (my stress, the things I have spoken, and my overall clearly readable energy that has been so heavy) around to cause them anymore difficulty in their lives due to me. I have allowed myself to mindlessly over indulge in foods and drink I know are very unhealthy not only for my body, but for my mind, spirit, and energy frequency. I have sat spinning in circles of stress, anxiety, and irritability........
*******Posting this from my drafts "as is" how I found this from JUNE 2020******