Today is Saturday. Yesterday was the last day of work for my partner and I. It was such a blessing to have an opportunity to gracefully transition from our typical day jobs a few weeks ago into a line of work that was unbelievably much more stress free, full of positivity, physical movement, and overall joyful and fulfilling for our souls. These were things we were not fortunate to have the past several years of our being here. We both typically had jobs we were very unhappy with, where it was easier to take home stress, over-exert ourselves, and not have the space, time and energy to give to indulge in what our inner voice would try to help lead us to for fulfillment. For myself, this journey we are about to embark on is something I feel most of our soul’s call out for and need throughout our lifetime here on earth; the opportunity to truly listen to that voice inside (some may call your higher self, your “gut feeling,” God, The Goddess, The Universe or Yoniverse; I personally feel we all have a certain term we resonate with that seems to mostly be in reference to the same blissful, amazing energy) , that helps guide you in what to do, and where to be for maximum fulfillment. Most of my 31 years of living on this earth, I too have been caught up in the “rat race” of living by what feels “expected of us” or is “typical” in a sense; live in an apartment/house, stay in one place long enough to build up rapport and slowly climb our hourly earnings at what sometimes feel like a monotonous job. Now I certainly do not speak out against this type of lifestyle, we all as individuals have our own calling and what we are meant to do in our lives and what make us truly happy inside, and I absolutely love to celebrate all of that diversity. I have never really been one for buying the most attractive name brands, or the newest technological toys out, but I certainly have felt the energy of “more! More! More!” that society tends to push on us all. It’s profound to me how it’s a simple (but not so simple at times it seems lol) perception change that has the ability to change all you absorb and notice along your journey’s path.
Over the last few weeks, and certainly as this moment has gotten closer and closer for me of leaving what has been my home of the past 14 years, being very stationed in one place with such little travel, I have had LOTS of emotional rise and falls in regards to the entire process of my new transition. I that feel all situations we experience in life is an ebb and flow. I do my best to educate myself as well as gain experience deep into each and every emotion, and moment lived through without necessarily adding this “good or bad” emotion we sometimes tend to attach to those situations. Growing acknowledgement that the times we are blessed with what I like to call true mediation (this to me is where the universe helps rest you from ALL emotions to be able to look at things from the “bigger
picture” outside of what we happen to be zoned in on, or from a different perspective. In these times, I do not feel happy but I also do not feel sad, I do not feel angry, but I do not feel those blissful butterflies of excitement either, I simply am) are not necessarily negative, or bad. Instead I see these times as a restful place to truly digest the world around you without attachment, to understand that shadow work is just as essential and amazing, and necessary as all the purely joyful times with high energy are. I like to look at those “down times/depression/feelings of nothing” periods the same way you might view as sleep being a necessary part of having good energy to be awake and fully involved in your next day. I realize more and more that every moment may hold a message, a reminder, a reflection, insight. Sometimes I feel when people ask for a sign or an answer, it’s easy to expect this huge blinking billboard of an answer, but in my experience, I feel your answer is waiting out in plain sight to see in the smallest of places. Through my experience, it’s asking myself if I was quiet enough to notice that small leaf blowing by, or a tiny flower along the pathway I walk every day. The answers or helpful hints are typically in a quieter, smaller, but out in plain view kind of way. It’s about the whispers, and not always the loud roars. It can be as small as an image, that brought up a thought in my mind, that reminded me of something else, that then lead to deepening my questions to myself and get my brain working in different avenues, and before I know, I have my “ah-ha” moment where things just seem to fall into place/click if you will.
Anyhow, this has been the most amazing transition for me. In Medford Oregon, I have gained many friends and been blessed with incredible people in my life, even as we all have moved away or haven’t talked as much or mostly at all. I still always have reflections of each person being a blessing, and have the most wonderful memories as if I had hung out with all of you just last week. I have gained knowledge of who I am, as well as have carried myself through so many moments where I felt I did not remember who I was. Through all of the good times, the more difficult transitional times, everything that has formed my soul into where I stand today. I hold nothing but the upmost gratitude for each and every person, moment, tough decisions, and life altering situations that have brought me to where I still grow, and learn, and project even farther. Having the most incredible partner I could ever imagine by my side, holding such strength, love, genuine energy, along with the inner knowing that we both take each other by the hand and take this leap of faith into the unknown, into the excitement of what we crave in traveling the world together is one large medicine I hold close to my heart that always acts as my light at the end of a deep dark tunnel I have found myself in at times. It is my best friend, my comfort, my reminder of confidence, the love that takes my breath away and reminds me that all is amazing and to keep walking forward with confidence. My love, I fulfilled a promise I kept many life times ago that I would not stop until I find you again in our next lifetimes to come, and for all else that has happened, well…….this marks only the beginning of our lifelong journey of enlightenment, courage, deep love unlike anything else we’ve experienced, fearlessness and tranquility that we will find ourselves in.
Blessed Be Everyone and Merry Meet Again
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